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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26861446">Take Me as I Am</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cactaceae28/pseuds/Cactaceae28'>Cactaceae28</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fly Me to the Moon [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Deep Space Nine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boundaries, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, Insecurity, Multi, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Romance, Trektober 2020, discussion of sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:54:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26861446</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cactaceae28/pseuds/Cactaceae28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Declarations of love and reciprocity of feeling are only the beginning. The only way for a relationship to work is to maintain an open mind and talk things out. After all, happily-ever-after is a journey, not a destination.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Julian Bashir/Leeta/Rom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fly Me to the Moon [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573999</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Trektober 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Take Me as I Am</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It isn’t necessary, though it may be helpful, to read part 1 of the series. In any case the gist of it is this: A year into their relationship (during <em>Bar Association</em>) Julian and Leeta decided to ask Rom out and form a polyamorous triad, to which he accepted. This takes place a few weeks later, once their relationship is established.</p><p>For Trektober 2020 Day 6: Lingerie</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s a lazy morning, by their standards, a time without outside pressures, just three people existing together. It’s a moment that should have been cherished. Yet, it’s in this moment when Rom is abruptly brought out of the reverie he has allowed himself to fall into in the past month of blissful indulgence with a painful snap. </p><p>This morning, all three of them have converged in Leeta’s quarters and are slowly going about their routines, getting ready for the day, when suddenly an innocuous action threatens to tear his heart in two with jealousy and he’s left floundering.</p><p>Leeta is arching her back in front of the mirror by the corner, clad only in her underwear. Today she’s wearing a silky russet red set with grey frills that she adores because she says it makes her feel powerful.</p><p>She’s fighting with the clasps at the back of her bra, contorting her body to see what she’s doing on her reflection when Julian steps out of the bathroom, wearing only the pants of his uniform riding low on his hips.</p><p>Understanding her predicament with a glance, he casually steps in to connect the tiny loops for her, running his hand down her spine and resting it low against the small of her back for a second before resuming his course; and something in the way they look in that moment, in the contrast of gentle curves and defined muscles on display, perfectly matched against each other, makes the picture come into focus.</p><p>What is he doing here?</p><p>His brother is right. Rom has been living in a fantasy, once again lying to himself by thinking that he’s allowed to have something like this. He’s reminded of the myth of Kell, the son of the Blind Banker who lost his fingers trying to melt gold and was punished by the Exchequer, forced to count diamonds with soft hands made of tin for eternity. He’s intimately acquainted with the feeling of reaching too close and being burned by the treasure one sought to acquire. </p><p>Prinadora had been breath-taking. Even now, years after their disastrous divorce, he still wakes up sometimes with a memory of the sound of her laugh, the beautiful dark brown of her eyes or the dainty curve of her ears lurking in his heart and in his mind. Being with her had been like a cloudy day with the promise of rain in the distance, like standing on top of the Tower of Commerce and pretending everything he could see was his.</p><p>It would be easier if he could hate her; but even with all she had taken from him, she had also given him something precious in return, and he can’t regret choosing her when he has Nog, now grown up and making a life for himself in San Francisco.</p><p>Still, what does he have left to his name now? A handful of credits, a set of quarters in a space station far from home. If he’s burnt again, will <em>his</em> fingers of tin be replaced with clay? And what can he salvage of his life if he fails in this attempt as well?</p><p>His situation hasn’t changed, not from where he’s standing, getting ready for the day and hearing their light, meaningless banter that he answers without enthusiasm as each prepare to go about their day.</p><p>Leeta has always been beautiful; she’s beautiful inside and out. She can light up a room with her presence and command it with her laugh. Her eyes shine when she’s happy in a way he has never seen before.</p><p>Julian is beautiful too. He’s steady and confident in his craft, always gentle and warm with others. When he turns to him and listens, Rom feels important in a way he has never quite felt before.</p><p>Still, what does that truly matter, when he’s very much aware that the same can’t be said for him? He’s too tall for a Ferengi, too short for a Human or Bajoran. No one living on Deep Space Nine will remark on the size of his lobes, no matter how proportionate they are, and he certainly doesn’t turn heads walking down the Promenade.</p><p>He could deal with that, he thinks, if it wasn’t for the whispered comments he can sometimes catch from people who don’t realize he can hear them: a month into this new relationship, he knows Quark wouldn’t listen to any suggestion of a change in uniform for the waitresses and dabo girls, but he’s almost desperate enough to beg the Chief to stay away from any more Viking holoprograms for the sake of his own sanity.</p><p>Each comment and each leer is another reminder that they could have anyone they wanted, separately and together; so why him? And more importantly: for how long?</p><p>His heart was torn apart once. He’d rather cut it out himself before it breaks again.</p><p>-----</p><p>A few hours later he’s working in preoccupied silence, doing a routine maintenance check in the ring leading to the runabouts, when he hears someone coming towards him. He recognizes the cadence of the steps immediately and tenses for a second, before he forces himself to relax.</p><p>When he looks up, Julian is making his way towards him and Rom has a sudden deja-vu to the moment this thing between them started, when the human had sought him out in a situation much like this one and stumbled through asking him to join him and Leeta on what he now realizes was a date.</p><p>This time, however, the human gets right to the point.</p><p>“You seemed distracted this morning,” Julian says, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall with that hesitant look in his eyes that Rom has only just started to recognize, hidden as it had been behind a mask of competence and Federation arrogance before.</p><p>“I was?” he stammers, doing his best to sound distracted, hoping the human might leave. He doesn’t.</p><p>“Rom…” he sighs instead and asks directly, “is everything alright?”</p><p>“Yes,” he evades. Julian sighs again, more deeply this time.</p><p>“If I have done something wrong, please tell me.”</p><p>He considers, realizing that the doctor isn’t going to leave without some answer. However he isn’t truly upset with Julian, or Leeta, but the situation as a whole. He’s upset with himself for not being able to hide his reaction and he’s upset because he has come so late to this relationship between the other two that he doesn’t know how to make sure that he doesn’t come at second best. He stops working and turns to Julian, who’s still studying him carefully.</p><p>“Tell me something Leeta doesn’t know about you,” he demands.</p><p>Julian’s eyebrows crease. He looks at him with the sort of careful consideration that he usually reserves for his medical projects, and Rom can almost see the gears turning in the human’s head. Eventually he huffs, uncrosses his arms and tilts his head back to rest against the wall, looking at the ceiling panels.</p><p>“Jules,” he says, slowly forming the word like it is the answer to a difficult puzzle. His hands curl and uncurl from where they rest at his sides.</p><p>Rom looks at him, waiting for Julian to elaborate and after a moment the human does, still with a small grimace hiding behind the forced stillness of his expression. “That’s who I was born as, Jules Subatoi Bashir. I officially changed my name to Julian the year I turned eighteen, just in time to enrol in Starfleet Academy. I’ve never told anybody, so I doubt anyone knows, other than my parents of course.”</p><p>“Why did you change it?”</p><p>“I wasn’t… I discovered that Jules wasn’t who I am and I needed to find out who I could be” he says with a far-away look in his eyes, exuding a worn-down sort of sadness. After a moment, Julian focuses back on him and continues, “To be honest I would prefer if you didn’t use it. But, well, now you know.”</p><p>“Would you have told Leeta, eventually?” He asks, unsure if he wants to hear an affirmative answer or not. One wouldn’t assuage his jealousy, the other would tell him that he has pried deeper than he intended.</p><p>“I… will have to tell her, and you, the whole story. Someday, soon. I just… I need more time. I can’t face it, not yet.”</p><p>Rom looks at his face and sees the truth of his words. He thinks about pushing, but he doesn’t feel confident enough to do it so he lets this go, for the moment. What they have is too fragile, and he won’t intrude into what is clearly a painful memory now, when he can’t trust his reactions.</p><p>He resumes working and Julian slides to sit against the wall, watching him in silence.</p><p>“Why did you ask me to go with you to the holosuite, the first time? Did she put you up to it?” He says, a bit more harshly than he intended, but he can’t quite bring himself to regret it.</p><p>Julian looks up at him with surprise, and raps his knuckles distractedly against the floor as he muses his answer.</p><p>“We had talked about asking you before, and that seemed like a good way to do it. Leeta said it would be best coming from me. It would have felt like we were overriding you if we both asked, and if it was just her it might have looked like cheating, I don’t know. It seemed like a good way of proving we were serious.”</p><p>“Why would you ask… well, me? I didn’t think I was… your type.”</p><p>Julian huffs a laugh.</p><p>“I’m bi, you know? I don’t know why so many people on this station ignore that. And… I think you’re selling yourself short. You are committed, smart and brave. You don’t give up. I know it was difficult for you to leave Quark’s, but still, you chose to do what you loved, even if it was a harder path. Rom, you are better than you think you are.”</p><p>He has nothing to add to that, so they stay where they are. Maybe a quarter of an hour later, the doctor’s badge beeps and he’s called back to the Infirmary. He gets up with a quiet farewell, walking back the way he had come. </p><p>“Did you find it? Who you could be?” Rom asks before he goes too far, partly out of curiosity and partly as a peace offering.</p><p>Julian looks back, considers the question, and smiles, “I think I just might have.”</p><p>-----</p><p>In the afternoon, he hesitates for a long time on the Promenade, wondering where to eat. He could go to Quark’s, but he doesn’t remember if Leeta is working now and he’s not sure he’s ready to face her.</p><p>The decision is made for him when one of the waiters notices him and waves at someone further in. A moment later she hurries out of the bar, still carrying a cleaning rag in one of her hands.</p><p>“Rom!” she shouts, skidding to a stop in front of him, “I was hoping to speak with you today. Is everything okay?”</p><p>“Yes, why?”</p><p>“I just thought, you didn’t seem yourself this morning. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier,” she says, with the unspoken question hanging in the air.</p><p>“Can I ask you something?” He asks instead.</p><p>“Anything.”</p><p>“It was your idea to bring me into your relationship, wasn’t it?”</p><p>She blinks perplexedly, and then seems to realize, all of a sudden, the implications of his question.</p><p>“I proposed it first, yes, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you,” Leeta hurries to say. The sentiment is appreciated, but it does little to soothe the doubts that are still gripping Rom’s heart, because he was mostly asking about her. He tries to give his doubts form, draws a mental blank, and finally settles for a straight-forward,</p><p>“Why did you?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Why did you want to ask me? He’s a doctor, he’s in charge of a Department. Why risk losing that for me?”</p><p>Leeta scrunches her nose up in thought, lifting a hand to rub her thumb and forefinger along the chain of her earring.</p><p>“Do you remember the union you formed to save our jobs? You were so confident, so certain of what was the right thing… and you’ve always been funny and kind and brave. I realized that I was starting to fall in love with you, but also that I wasn’t going to fall out of love with Julian. And I thought about breaking up with him, or letting my feelings for you go, but both options felt like losing. So I thought, what if I… didn’t? What if there was a way to make it work?”</p><p>“So I wasn’t… just an afterthought for you?”</p><p>“No, of course not! Both of you mean the same to me. I mean, maybe I love you differently, but it’s not worse or better. Please, don’t think that.”</p><p>“And Julian… was okay with that? Just like that?”</p><p>“I think… at first I was more invested than he was. He liked you, but I don’t think he would have ever thought about making it more on his own,” she says with an apologetic grimace and he ignores the small pang of having part of his fears confirmed. It’s stupid to feel hurt when he had already known as much.</p><p>Leeta lets go of her earring, tentatively takes his hand in hers and continues, “but he agreed to try, and then he got to know you more, and I got to know you more too, and the longer we thought about the three of us being together, the more right it felt. I don’t want to change any of it.”</p><p>“But you didn’t tell me,” he adds, just to hear her say it out loud, because he knows why they waited for him to catch up instead of telling him upfront. Even a few weeks ago he was still trying to sort his feelings and gather enough courage to accept it could be true; in a way that is still what he’s trying to do. If they had tried telling him before, he wouldn’t have believed them and it would all have been gone up in flames before it could even start.</p><p>“I don’t know, maybe we should have,” Leeta says with a barely noticeable waver in her voice, “It might have been fairer if we had, but we tried our best. And I… I like what we have now. Don’t… don’t you?”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>That’s the problem, but he’s kind enough to keep that thought to himself.</p><p>-----</p><p>Given how emotionally draining today has been, Rom thinks he might almost be forgiven for forgetting that he had a call scheduled with his son. Almost, but as the Chief says, almost only count for horsesocks and hyperspanners.</p><p>He’s lucky in that he doesn’t have anything pressing left to complete, so he’s able to give his remaining assignments to another engineer in exchange for a half-shift at some point later in the month. He leaves and manages to take the call just before it disconnects.</p><p>Today, Nog is calling from his room at the Academy. The artificial lights are on and he’s wearing a tracksuit instead of his cadet uniform, so it must be dawn on Earth. Through trial and error they have found that this is the best time to ensure that there won’t be too many people cluttering the subspace network, so the quality of the video feed almost approaches that of the more official Starfleet channels.</p><p>As soon as the static clears, Nog begins chattering. Rom lets him talk, relieved to notice that he won’t need to contribute much, not when his son is this worked up.</p><p>“I have this test coming up, the ‘Kobayashi Maru’, and it’s impossible!” Nog launches into his tale, almost before their usual greetings are over. “Hear this, apparently only one student has ever passed it, and it was James Kirk about a million years ago.”</p><p>Nog groans and keeps ranting, “I know what you are going to say, it can’t be that important if people can graduate without it but, I really want to make captain Sisko proud. Just imagine the look on his face if I come back having aced this,” he squeals softly and his eyes lose focus for a moment.</p><p>“I mean, <em>captain Sisko</em> didn’t pass! Can you imagine?” The question is rhetorical, because Nog speaks right over Rom again in his excitement.</p><p>“If I manage this, T’Lar might even agree to go out with me. She says she wanted to focus on her grade average and I mean, I guess, it’s not like I don’t <em>believe</em> her, because she’s <em>really</em> dedicated, but just imagine, this test could be it for me. It would prove I belong once and for all! I would rub it in <em>so</em> many faces, I swear, it would be <em>awesome</em>.”</p><p>Nog’s smile turns a bit self-deprecating as he continues, “but, I mean… <em>no one</em> has passed it. So I guess I most likely won’t either and I know it won’t mean anything but <em>I really want to pass</em>. What do you think I should do?”</p><p>“Uh?”</p><p>Rom realizes he has been too slow to react just a second too late, when Nog’s smile morphs into a frown and he says sharply, “Okay, that’s it. What’s going on?”</p><p>“Nothing’s going on,” Rom says for the third time today and feels his heart dropping to his feet. Does he have a sign over his head that has everyone asking difficult questions today?</p><p>“No, Dad, I have let this… weird… mood go on for weeks, because I wasn’t sure I wasn’t imagining things, and then last time I called you seemed okay again so I didn’t say anything. But this has gone on for too long. Do you know I even considered you might have been replaced with a Changeling?”</p><p>“I have not been replaced by anything!” Rom sputters indignantly.</p><p>“Fine. So. Tell me.”</p><p>Rom looks at the viewscreen and has to work to contain a despondent sigh. He doesn’t want to talk about it, but Nog’s never been one to be deterred by platitudes, especially not when he gets an idea in his head like this.</p><p><em>“Tell me,”</em> Nog repeats on the tiny screen, crossing his arms. “It’s Uncle, isn’t it? What did he do now?”</p><p>“N-Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I haven’t talked to your uncle all day.”</p><p>“Then who? Chief O’Brien? Another engineer? If someone is making your job difficult I’ll tell Jake and he’ll tell his father, see if I don’t.”</p><p>“Please don’t do that,” Rom says with resignation.</p><p>“Then tell me what’s wrong, Dad. Please.”</p><p>Rom wracks his brain for something to say that won’t have his son skipping school and boarding the first transport bound to the station, or worse, have him come through on his threat of telling the Siskos; with the way gossip travels, if that happens every person on the station will know within hours.</p><p>“I was thinking about your mother,” he says at last.</p><p>Nog scowl deepens. He had been too young the last time she was in their lives to be able to remember her. As a very young child he had treasured Rom’s stories about her, but lately it seems he only has resentment left for her.</p><p>“Why? Is it an anniversary?”</p><p>“No…”</p><p>“Grandfather didn’t pass through the station, did he?” Nog guesses next, though his tone makes clear that he doubts it.</p><p>“No!” <em>That</em> thought is ridiculous. And disturbing, but mostly ridiculous, thank goodness.</p><p>“Then why would you be thinking about her <em>now</em>?” Nog asks with a baffled look, like the very notion is strange.</p><p>Rom has a moment to hope that this will be the end of it, but his son has always been too smart for his own good. After a moment of mulling it over, the stormy expression disappears, and his son leans over his camera, filling the screen. He’s smirking.</p><p>“No. Did you <em>meet</em> someone? That’s it, isn’t it? Who is it? Do I know her? Does Jake know her?”</p><p>“I… uh… I did?”</p><p>“Nice, Dad!”</p><p>Rom wants to bang his head against the desk. Maybe it’s that desperation that finally makes him speak his fear aloud.</p><p>“But what if it happens again? What if they leave?”</p><p>Nog looks at him in askance at the choice of pronoun, but lets it go. Instead, he scratches at his neck absently and shrugs with a suspicious amount of non-challance. “I mean, it’s not like you’re marrying. Just see where it goes I guess, it’s not like they can take anything from you, that would be stealing. Constable Odo would brig them.”</p><p>When it’s put like that it sounds so far out of the realm of possibility that Rom is left speechless for a second.</p><p>“If you want to test the waters, then you could start drafting an agreement, maybe?” Nog shrugs again. “It’s a bit soon but… We are Ferengi. If they don’t understand how we do things, then it’s not worth it. You deserve better.”</p><p>Rom’s eyes widen in shock; could the solution really be that simple?</p><p>“You are right. We are Ferengi.”</p><p>-----</p><p>“A contract?” Leeta asks sceptically that night. “I’m not sure I like that. I’ve never needed a contract with anyone before. It sounds like we are turning our lives into a job.”</p><p>“It, it’s not like an entrepreneurial contract. It can be… a declaration of int-intentions,” he retorts. He has found old references to this in Federation archives, and he knows that Bajorans had something similar when they still followed the dj’arras, so he makes an effort to defend his idea. “We put in writing what we want out of our relationship, and what we are willing to offer. Ferengi marriage contracts have termination clauses and s-such, but we… don’t need to add that?”</p><p>“It’s not really a contract, then? If it’s like a deontology but for relationships, I don’t mind. I’m already following one as a doctor,” Julian says, sounding intrigued. He sits cross-legged on a corner of the bed, patting the sheets in invitation.</p><p>“There won’t be penalties? We can’t be… laid off?” Leeta insists, and only when Rom assures her again that it doesn’t have to be binding (a thought that simultaneously elates and terrifies him) does she give in, perching on the border like she’s preparing herself to leave at any moment.</p><p>“What should I put first?” Rom directs his question solely at her, hoping to bring her around to his way of thinking. Julian shuffles to keep them both in his sight after Rom sits down but waits in silence.</p><p>“We are all equal partners here,” Leeta says firmly, “We all count the same.”</p><p>“That’s a given, isn’t it?” Julian says with a hint of worry in his voice. Leeta leans over to squeeze his hand in reassurance, and rests her other hand on Rom’s ankle, but her tone remains made of steel as she reiterates her point.</p><p>“If we are doing this, I want that to be guideline number one. And that means we can wear whatever we like, whenever we like, for starters.”</p><p>Rom nods hastily, since that one is clearly directed at him. He wonders if she’s thinking of his (admittedly) overreaction to Pel or if it’s about Ferengi culture in general, but in any case it isn’t any hardship to give her that, especially since his moogie would probably have some strong words with him otherwise.</p><p>“What about telling other people?” he asks next, choosing to start with a lighter topic. “I want to tell Nog, before he finds out from someone else, and moogie too.”</p><p>“I don’t think we have anything to hide. If your brother tries to say anything, I’ll remind him that I can also find work elsewhere. Besides I already told my family,” Leeta says with a shrug, shuffling further in to sit against the headboard, “which reminds me, they’ll want to meet you at some point.”</p><p>“Dax knows,” Julian adds next. “Garak and Miles do too… that’s it for me. I really don’t want to tell my parents. It’s not that I’m ashamed, but we haven’t talked in almost four years and frankly I’d much prefer to make that forty.”</p><p>“So… we don’t lie or hide that we are together, and we are free to tell whoever we want but it’s not mandatory?” Rom clarifies, with his fingers hovering over the PADD.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“That sounds good.”</p><p>Rom writes it down, “what else?”</p><p>“Children?” Leeta asks nervously.</p><p>“It’s, uh… Isn’t it too soon?” Julian says with a strangled voice. They look at each other.</p><p>“I’m… uh…”</p><p> “Let’s table that for now,” is said to sounds of assent. Each of them cough or look away, battling the round of blushes before turning back to the PADD lying between them.</p><p>“Sep- separation of Profit,” Rom says nervously, pushing against the irrational little voice telling him that this is where it will fall apart, “each person’s savings can’t be taken by the others without interests. That goes for their things too.”</p><p>“I think that works best for me as well,” Leeta says, drawing her knees close and tucking her legs under her.</p><p>“Technically I don’t even have a salary, so whatever you decide is fine by me,” Julian concurs with a little smile, like he finds their concern silly.</p><p>“Really?” Rom asks incredulously, though perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised by the answer. Federation; he fears he will never understand them. He only hopes Leeta and he never catch that laissez-faire attitude towards latinum.</p><p>“What about,” he adds, just to be perfectly clear, “what about rooms? I know Starfleet doesn’t ask for rent but don’t we have to move in together? To save space?”</p><p>He’s met with a look of incomprehension, so he prods further, “Would the captain really lend us three rooms? It doesn’t sound…” he holds back the world ‘profitable’ and goes for a more generic, “logical?”</p><p>“You know how the station works; what do you think?” Leeta asks, turning to the officer among them.</p><p>“Well… unless we were suddenly operating at full capacity, I don’t think Sisko or Kira would mind. Captain Yates… ah… she used to take guest quarters or sleep in her ship if she was going to spend several days on the station, regardless of where she spent most of her time. We can keep all three and rotate whose quarters we use if we decide to stay the night, it’s not like it’s any of their business.” Julian looks around appraisingly and adds, “I think my bed is bigger though.”</p><p>Leeta snorts and flops down on her front, resting her chin on her hands, “Yes, clearly Starfleet is playing favourites. The bed is the only reason we like you.”</p><p>“What about the free medical advice?”</p><p>“You just said Starfleet doesn’t pay you!”</p><p>“I still could move to Ferenginar.”</p><p>“All three of us have night shifts sometimes, so having a space for naps without disturbing each other would be nicer,” Rom says abruptly, getting them back on track and feeling a bout of relief when he sees that all-important caveat down in writing. It makes it more real, and the spectre of Prinadora is left a bit further away.</p><p>Leeta agrees and Julian just nods. After a moment of contemplative silence, Leeta makes a sound of realization and flaps her hand insistently in his direction.</p><p>“Back up, before I forget, I feel like we should have a rule higher up the list: no listening to the opinion of bigots, idiots or people who don’t know how to mind their own business,” Leeta says with a meaningful look.</p><p>Wanting to preserve the light-hearted mood as much as possible, Rom dutifully writes down, <em>‘Don’t listen to Quark.’</em> Julian barely holds back a cackle from where he’s looking over his shoulder but Leeta looks triumphant.</p><p>“About that, maybe having a designated neutral party just in case we fight? Someone who can give an outside view if we need it and so we can’t gang up two against one,” Julian says after Rom has changed the wording back to Leeta’s original suggestion.</p><p>Rom considers it and nods; the truth remains that if he <em>had</em> listened to Quark when his former father-in-law had re-drafted his marriage contract, things would have been different. Still, even if his brother hadn’t just been vetoed he would be a terrible choice, so instead Rom ventures, “Commander Dax?” </p><p>“I was thinking more along the lines of counsellor Tellnorri. It might be awkward to make Jadzia pick sides, since she’s friends with all three of us.”</p><p>“But going to a counsellor sounds so… official,” Leeta says, worrying her lower lip with his teeth and then adding, “I’d feel silly going to them for a stupid problem and worried if it was a big problem so, I don’t know… I really would prefer a friend first.”</p><p>“So we ask Dax?” Rom repeats. Leeta shrugs again and Julian brushes a hand against his jaw.</p><p>“Can we leave Tellnorri as a last resort?” he asks at last. After receiving twin nods, he accepts as well.</p><p>“I have something else,” Julian stammers, “It’s, um… I will have to leave the station whenever the Defiant is issued a mission with a full complement. Starfleet Medical requires me to attend symposiums and conferences as well to present my findings, so I’ll… I’ll probably be gone for days at a time. I’m… not sure how to deal with the thought.”</p><p>“You don’t want us to stay away from each other while you are gone, do you?” Leeta asks dubiously.</p><p>“No, of course not!” Julian hastens to add, sounding aghast at the thought, “Just, maybe… we could check with each other when I get back? Like… like maybe go on dates individually, not just together? Just to… Oh God, that sounds dumb when I say it aloud,” he mumbles and cover his face with his hands, the words just barely understandable through his embarrassment.</p><p>“I don’t think it’s dumb,” Rom says, trying his best to sound encouraging. After how often he has been subjected to that particular adjective, he feels it’s important to stop that train of thought before it takes root. “I think it sounds nice.”</p><p>“We were already doing that anyway, with our schedules being as they are. As long as we all know it’s happening, and we find time to spend together as well, that’s fine by me,” Leeta says. She looks at the PADD intently and says, “I can’t think of anything else right now.”</p><p>“Me neither.”</p><p>“Um…” Rom hesitates, gripping the PADD tightly in one hand and trying to think of how to bring up the one big problem that’s still plaguing him. Taking a leap of faith, he blurts out, “we still haven’t… <em>done</em> anything.” That is something that has been nagging at him for a while now, but his tongue ties and he settles for saying, “of, <em>you know</em>.”</p><p>There’s a collective shudder of awkwardness as the topic is brought into the open. Leeta turns to her back and sits back up, and Julian uncrosses his legs, rubbing at his ankle with the opposite foot.</p><p>“Do you want to?” Julian asks at last.</p><p>Rom hesitates, feeling shame bubbling in his chest. He thought he did, when they started this; he does want to have sex with Leeta, but no matter what he feels for Julian or how he has come to appreciate the unguarded glimpses of skin and mussed hair in the mornings, he just can’t picture them like that. It bothers him, like he’s falling short somehow.</p><p>“It feels like I should,” he admits, “especially with you; but I’m not sure I do.”</p><p>Leeta makes an outraged sound at the back of his throat and Julian tenses. Rom finds he’s gratified by their strong reaction.</p><p>“Absolutely not,” she defends fiercely. “That’s not how this works.”</p><p>“Yes, I don’t want to pressure you into anything. I’ll wait as long as I have to wait and if you aren’t ever comfortable with anal sex, then we won’t do it. I like you more than I like sex.”</p><p>“It still doesn’t seem fair,” Rom says, having learnt his lesson about leaving these kinds of things unsaid.</p><p>“A relationship isn’t all about sex anyway,” Leeta intervenes. “Even if it’s nice. And I do want it. Though I guess... I’m also not ready for a threesome? But, um. Let’s leave the option on the table.”</p><p>“Or the bed,” Rom adds softly, receiving twin peals of startled laughter at his feeble joke. He smiles widely at them, feeling slightly bolder.</p><p>“I promise I’m willing to follow your lead,” Julian says when they sober up, “and if I have a problem with something, we can talk about it again later. That’s why we are having this discussion after all.”</p><p>“I… ah… Oomox is fine.” He says, letting his eyes rove over the slender, uncalloused fingers resting a few inches from his frame.</p><p>“I’d love to,” Julian replies with a sultry look and his accent grows thicker, “I have been studying some texts but it’s always good to have <em>hands-on</em> experience.”</p><p>Leeta uses Rom’s moment of aroused stillness to scuttle to the side and push her foot against Julian’s hip, shoving him playfully, “Stop giving him that look, let’s finish this up first. It’s taking ages.”</p><p>“Oh, are we tiring you? Should we adjourn? No matter, you can leave and <em>we</em> can get to practice those texts—”</p><p>“Rom, tell him he’s impossible. You’re impossible!”</p><p>“I like it,” he says instead, perhaps more seriously that the light-hearted mood deserves, but it is true and it has to be said. He’s not only talking about this moment; though in a way this is a perfect representation of what he means.</p><p>If it is going to be like this… if they keep listening, if he keeps reaching out. If they can find each other and remain all three together, just like this. Maybe he isn’t Kell after all; maybe this is an investment worth making.</p><p>He looks at the half-written guidelines in his hands and thinks: perhaps this time I can make this work.</p><p>Julian leans over him, laying a hand on his shoulder to gain enough leverage to swat at Leeta for whatever she’s said. She giggles, effortlessly rolling out of the way and resting her feet against Rom’s thigh.</p><p>On second thought… for tonight, the PADD can wait.</p><p>-----</p><p>The morning comes slowly and finds them still strewn on the bed. At some point during the night Rom ended up between the other two with a partner cuddling on each side. He’s already awake, if barely, when the alarm bleeps and the automated voice brings them all back to the present.</p><p>Leeta heads for the sonic shower, wearing only one of Julian’s old Academy sweatshirts. Julian gets up and starts rummaging in the closet for a clean uniform, barefoot. Rom stretches, taking full advantage of the newly-freed space and smiles.</p><p>The future looks bright.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>… Behold, as the author takes a sexy prompt for the first time and proceeds to write a vanilla fic anyway, but on the other hand she also finally stopped procrastinating and got a second part out of this series, so hooray for small victories. (Is this even allowed??)</p><p>A big, big thank you to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/urisarang/pseuds/urisarang">urisarang</a>, who betaed this and helped me get over a big stumbling block. Thank you!</p><p>And of course, thanks for reading! :D</p><p>Previously on trektober:<br/><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840392">Forever and Always</a> (Pining) | 2k | General Audiences | T'Pring, Spock (TOS)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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